Okay, so, I wrote about Nate Rifkin and his verbose dating profile the other day. In the past 24 hours, he’s pivoted, removing the long-ass word salad and replacing it with an offer to teach brands how to go viral.
Dear Friend,
I have no idea how you reached this page.
Maybe someone told you about “this a$$&ole and his crazy dating site” …
Maybe you read an article about Should You Date Nate, this insane dating profile some guy wrote…
Perhaps it was just luck.
However you got here, you have stumbled upon… without a doubt…
One of the most successful PR campaigns of 2017!
Hi, my name’s Nate Rifkin and over a year ago, I wrote an advertisement. But not for a regular product. Instead, this ad sold myself as date.
Since then, it’s gone completely viral. Buzzfeed. EOnline. Yeah, that kind of viral.
Now I’m ready to show you exactly how I did it:
I have no idea if he’s telling the truth. It’s totally possible that he is. He could have posted that site, done some modest advertising for it, and it just sat there on the internet like a stone-cold turd. The more likely explanation is that he saw all the attention his site was getting and decided to monetize it. Which, if you think about, is actually pretty smart. He admitted he was a workaholic and all but said he’s enamored with the idea of being rich, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise he opted to forego the finding love angle. Do just a smidge of research on this guy and he does have a background in brand marketing so you do the math. It’s my opinion the backstory is a little of both: he sold himself as a product to find a partner (something most singles do online) and – because of the message’s “success” he decided to optimize his time in the spotlight.
Now, as I said in my earlier post, I think Nate is shallow and awkward. How he was perceived could be why he did a one-hundred eighty degree turn. That shows self-awareness, something we don’t see very often. I’m sure we all know a lot of men who, when faced with intense criticism, would double-down on their douchery. Nate didn’t. I’ll say again that I found the previous version of his site problematic. He clearly has some troubling ideas about women and relationships. What has me writing this additional response is the egregious outpouring of snark from women across the internet.
She’s so proud of her rapier wit.
Then there’s this:
https://shouldyoudatekate.com/
Yawn. Unfunny and tedious.
Here’s a harsh little bitch slap for these women: you’re shitting on him because he’s a dude. An awkward dude with some antiquated opinions, but still a dude. If a woman put herself out there like this and made herself vulnerable – even if she said things that made your jaw drop – most women would applaud her moxie or even feel sorry for her. Case in point: Back when I first started there was a blogger named Blair Allison. She put up a site called Marry Blaire and pledged to be engaged by the end of the year. Women loved it! Blair was brave! Blair was honest! Blaire was real! Blaire was them! They were Blaire! Calling her awkward and self-obsessed would be an understatement, but many women ate it up. She did exactly what Nate did. She pivoted and became a marriage and relationship coach. (She also got married and divorced in under a year, but that’s another story. ) In any event, Blaire Allison was embraced for her awkward, face-palm of a site. Nate Rifkin didn’t fare as well. (Full transparency: I mocked the shit out of Blaire back then.)
This little stunt of Nate has quiet a bit of take-away value. Why do we as a society mock men who make themselves vulnerable? I have no problem with women saying, “He says stupid shit, not for me” but picking apart his campaign because he’s awkward and self-important is reductive. And hypocritical. Yes, there are no women anywhere who find money and ambition and promises of travel to be an aphrodesiac. Get the fuck out of here. Maybe I;m crazyl, I didn’t find the original iteration of his site that offensive. I can’t muster the outrage for someone who clearly was not trying to offend anyone.
In closing, I’ll just say that I would never date Nate and Nate would never date me (if he is how he presented himself to be is genuine.) And you know that? THAT’S OKAY. All he did was forego a traditional dating site/app and offer up what would likely be the same amount of information your average single person shares on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Tinder combined. Hate to break to y’all but it’s a guarantee that there are people out there who stumble across your wordy, oversharing, cringe-inducing social media pages and think you’re an asshole.
Thoughts?
